90 in "09"

so i saw this challenge on sparkpeople.com about 90 in 09. The funny thing is that is exactly what i was thinking of trying for. i want to weight under 300 by january 1st. So i know i have a lot of work in front of me. I have been eating good and today i took a walk at lunch and i will be trying to do at least 30 minutes a day of some kind of excersize. well lets keep on keeping on.

Foster Care

hello sorry i haven't been writting but mike and i are going to be doing foster care and there is so much that goes into it. This whole week we had off so we could attend MAPP training. It is monday through friday 9 to 4 in dedham ma. It has been a very challenging week. I have had my ups and down and although intensive foster care is going to be tough sometimes i think that if we could have an effect on some childs life for the long run than it would be totally worth it. For you people out there that have thought of it before. I think you should do it. There are not enough homes especially for teenagers. Well off to my last day of training.

Good for you can be good

It is a fact i have to come to live with ... I LOVE AVOCADO'S. Seriously i love the creamy flesh and the deep delicious flavor. It truly is satisfying. Yes they have fat but they are so good for you. It is good fat. They make you feel like your being bad even though my doctor told me to eat them. YUMMY is all i can say please go try some avacado.

100 day challenge

ok so somewhere i saw this flash of the words...100 day challenge... and i thought hmmm i could make a hundred day challenge. So what are the details. Well first off i just need the motivation. Its getting warmer so i want to be out more..move more lose more you know. so here is the challenge... for the next 100 days starting now i will consume:

a healthy breakfast EVERYDAY
either lunch or dinner will be a salad
2-4 servings of fruit a day
5 or more servings of vegetables
less than 2x a week red meat
fish at least 1x week
limit my carbs
eat only whole grains and limited
vegetarian at least 1 meal a week
take vitamins everyday

now how about move it and lose it:

i will walk 2x week
i will go to curves at least 3x a week i want to work up to everyday mon-fri and walk on the weekends hopefully

i will not:
eat sugary empty calorie foods including most breads, cookies, cakes etc.
i will not have any fried food at all no if ands or buts.
i will not make excuses not to

so what do i need from you:?
well if you want to join lets do it the more the better we can set up support for each other and motivation. Also i would like there to be a monetary goal as well so if you want to go in maybe we can all go in 25 bucks each the person who has lost the most percentage of body weight will win the challenge. But really there are no losers...who's ready?

Good MOST of the time

When i think about the thin people i know none of them eat perfectly all the time. I know the most healthy people who from time to time will indulge with a sundae or some buttery popcorn. But they eat good MOST of the time. Not a cheat day. NOT a cheat week (what the heck is that) and not like we were brought up eating whatever whenever. They make it part of theyre daily lives to eat good. We need to ask ourselves everytime we lift something to our mouth...how will this effect my body? my mood? my goals? Yeah pizza is great but personally it gives me a stomach ache and its just cheese, fatty meat and white bread... if i want to indulge in pizza i can get a flat bread with light cheese and veggies and it will be just as satisfying to my mouth as it is to my heart and my mind. Over eating and eating bad only feels good for a moment and then you have the reprocutions. Besides weight gain you feel guilty and the lack of nutrients in your body makes you depressed even rage. So today I (and hopefully you) will think before i let anything enter my mouth. IS THIS GOOD FOR ME? Good for me can taste wonderful i have packed up for the day some fiber one with skim milk, strawberries, whole wheat crackers w/2 oz cheese and a few olives, some taboulle and some homemade soup. Its in my little lunch cooler and now i have no exuse not to eat good while at work.

Taboulee is so easy to make and so nutritious


1c bulger soaked in 1c water
1 fresh lemon squeezed
2 bunches parsley chopped
1 bunch scallions chopped
2 tomatoes diced
1 bunch mint about a handful chopped
salt to taste

after the bulger soakes up the water about 1hr you add the rest of the ingredients and mix. This makes enough for a couple days and it gets better as you go. I use a food processor to chop the mint,parsley and scallions

my big mouth

So days go by and weeks go buy and i try to eat good. I mean how many times can i start again. I guess as long as i keep trying i am not failing. I saw a couple of my cousins the other day and they look so good. How inspiring! Keep up the good work girls. ME??? Its so easy to eat bad. I mean my life is so super busy and eating out is easy not only that but my lovely husband has zero input on the food we eat. The only thing i get after ordering pizza,wings or any other fried disgusting food is ..." i guess we will do better tomorrow" not that i blame him. I cant blame someone else for what I put in MY mouth. This really is about me. I can do good most days but then something happens i get really sad or mad and thats it i am shoveling food into my mouth. Then since i ate bad i will continue for the day then the weekend before i know it its been 2 weeks and i have eaten too many calories to even think of. So here we go again. I will NOT stop trying even if i stay the same weight for the next 6 months i am going to try to be conscious of everything that enters my body. Each time i pick up the fork i will ask is this good for my body? Am i loving myself ? I can love myself with a salad just as much as a burger. Giving my body good fuel is what i need and want. I vow to bring my lunch to work not order out. One day at a time right? ok lets do it

i know i know where am i?

ok i know i have been absent but i've been in a rut. You know we all have those super emotional times of the month well i found mine. I have been busy and emotional and tired. Sorry i haven't kept up i just haven't even been online much with work and parties and feeling crazy. So as far as eating goes ive been pretty good minus a couple days. Sarha had a party and i totally ate whatever i wanted and the day after and ive been just wanting peanut butter and chocolate all the time :) but this week monday through now ive been back doing good. I still feel a little crazy but i know i need to eat good. thanks for the concern girls i love you all. I will post again soon.

xoxox

Chinese or Pizza?

Today was good. I brought enough food to work to last the day. Mike told me he would bring me to dinner so i didn't eat the salad i brought for dinner. When i got out and we went to find somewhere to eat there was nothing open but chinese and pizza. By this point i was so very hungry and was ready to eat anything. I thought forget it i am too hungry i will just eat anything. Mike said lets go to the chinese buffet. OMG can you believe he wanted to go to the chinese buffet. Finally i said fine we will just go to the pizza place. As i was driving by i just kept going and went right home. I was very emotional and starving and even a little angry but i went home. I made some whole wheat pasta w/sauce and ate 1 serving and was fine. I am so happy i kept going. I really feel like i had a great success tonight and will be stronger because of it.

keep on keeping on

I know everyone has those days when you just do not feel motivated. I have been in a 2 day rut this is going on day 3. I can smile and stuff but i feel sad. I think i have pms. I have still not eaten off plan but i have not been doing very good at tracking my food. yesterday i had

orange
meat w/taboule and hummus
2 chocolates
orange
water
1/2pb and j on wheat
almonds

and thats it but my weight has stayed still for 3 days so i figure no weight loss and feeling crazy emotional must be pms. BUT i dont get my period regularly so i am not sure but i think so ;)
anyways i have to go to work but i will keep on keeping on no matter my mood. YOU KNOW i want to just eat chocolate and pb and mac and cheese and anything else that would comfort me but i turn for support to God and to my husband. I dont need to fill this void with food. I have done that way to long those days are over. I will eat on point today and will not waver. This is for me and for mike and for my future children. Well keep on keeping on peeps.

chopped salad w/lemon mint dressing

I made this delicious salad and mike and i eat it probably 3x a week it is so satisfying

1 lg romaine cut into small pieces
1 tomato chopped small
1 cucumber chopped small
1 bunch scallions chopped
1 lemon
2 cloves garlic crushed
oil to taste i use about 1/4 cup for the whole salad but watch the calories
hand full of fresh mint chopped
1 full handful of fresh parsley chopped
salt to tast

add lettuce, tomato,cucumber scallions,parsley and mint to a big bowl
mix together 2 crushed garlic cloves the juice of 1 lemon, oil and salt to taste

pour over salad when ready to serve toss together and enjoy

circle of influence

I heard this saying about your circle of influence. Think of a bulls eye. The very center is the things you can control, the next outer circle is the things you can influence and finally everything outside of that is the things you can not control. This really made me think. You can put this thought to work with anything. Maybe when you want to control someone else. Maybe your angry about something and your going to take it out on someone. Or maybe its food. Your hungry and there is no where to eat but wendys. Do i just go get one of those double burgers with fries because "there was no where else to eat" or do i maybe get a salad w/light dressing or even a grilled chicken sandwhich w/no mayo. What in this is in my control? You can only control 2 things in this world what GOES IN your MOUTH and what comes OUT!!!! Think on that for a minute. YOU control what goes in your mouth. AND you control what comes out. I used thie circle of influence yesterday. As many people know i am loud and out spoken especially when angry. Well Oshea (my friend) was suppose to meet me at 4:15. Well i sat in my car in the cold waiting. I couldnt run my car because my gas light was on but i couldnt go get gas because i might miss her. Well i sat there and waited and waited and waited and at 5:15 i was getting so angry. But it popped into my head...what can i control? I cant control her being late, I could go wait in the doorway and be warm. I couldnt control that i was going to be late getting my husband but i even couldnt help really being a little mad when 5:3o rolled around and she pulled up but i could control the way i reacted to it. You see this whole time i was waiting she was stuck in traffic with 2 kids screaming, so as bad as i "had it" she had it a whole lot worse. So i just said a prayer for God to help me not to react to her being late. It worked i was still a little upset but i didnt react i just gave her the i am glad your here now look and we went about our buisness. And i am sure it was comforting to her that i didnt explode and lecture her about how she should have left earlier or shouldnt have let pat take the car or whatever but i controlled the situation and i am sure we are better friends because of it. Don't let thoughts hold you captive.

who IS on the other side of this body

You know i was posting below a response and i wrote "i don't even know who is on the other side of this body?" you know these words are so true for me. I have been hiding behind this body so long i am almost afraid to see who is on the other side. I know every pound i lose i am gaining courage and strength. Every inch i am seeing a new me. I really cannot remember being under 300. I have been at 400 since before i went to Florida in 2002. As the pounds come off layers are coming off. I am examining myself and why i got here. Believe me i could tell you down to specifics why? now its time to stand up for myself. To love myself and believe in myself. As i near my 30th birthday i am giving the best gift of all to myself LIFE. This is about more than dieting or losing weight. This is about uncovering and opening up and healing. And finally finding the healthy sized worry free me inside.

mission accomplished

So yesterday i was feeling pretty sick and made myself get up and do laundry,dishes and cook dinner for my love but i really wasnt doing anything more. Last night i told myself i will get up at 8:30 and work out for a half hour before showering and going to work. Usually i get up right at the last minute. So mike woke me up as he was leaving at 8:30. I really slept poorly last night but i got up anyways. I took the dog out and went to the bathroom which left me 20 minutes to exercize.

I did a power walk video so i ended up walking 1 mile and doing some resistance with arms. Not bad for a first time morning workout :) Then i got my fiberone cereal and came to blog really quick before going to work. Ihave my first big bottle of water and will bring a second with me. I am going to be hurting i can already feel it in my thighs and hips. WOOHOO fast and furious. I figure if i can even start with 20 mins in the morning that would be great. Well off to work. Get moving people I cant do this alone.

i did cardio

so today i did it i finally exercised. I had today off but am home sick with a cold but i decided to go forward and do it anyways. I did a dance exercise tape. It was fun and pretty easy i broke a sweat. I want to get some weights so i can start some strength training. I plan on doing some kind of excersize again tomorrow.

i am feeling very good about myself today. I have worked out and ate on plan all day. I believe its been a good day.

cinnamon chicken w/cucumber sauce

1 cup non fat yogurt
1/4 cup light sourcream
1/4 cup cilantro chopped
2 T cumin
1 lime juiced
1 cucumber grated
1 crushed garlic clove

16 oz chicken breast(2 large pieces cut in half or 4 small pieces)
2 T cinnamon
1 T salt

place first 7 ingredients in a bowl mix and set aside.

sprinkle the chicken with salt and cinnamon and cook either in hot grill pan or in oven cook till done

serve with above sauce

*hint after grating the cucumber squeeze the excess juice out in a kitchen towel or paper towel

Stir fry fried rice

12 oz chicken breast
1/2 chopped onion
1T grated ginger
2 cloves garlic crushed
1t molasses
2 T soy sauce

1/2 chopped red bell pepper
1 carrot julienne
1c broccoli pieces
1c pea pods
1/2 c mushrooms sliced
1/2 cup beef broth

1c bean sprouts

light spray of olive oil
2 cups cooked brown rice
1/2 c egg substitute


mix first 6 ingredients set aside

in a skillet put the broth and all vegetables except bean sprouts cook till firm tender about 5 minutes set aside in a bowl
lightly spray same pan with cooking spray or olive oil when hot add chicken mixture cook till cooked through add in beans sprouts last minute of cooking
throw cooked chicken into bowl with vegetables
lightly spray pan again with spray when hot add in cooked rice cook till dry and slightly brown about 10 minutes stirring often
add in egg substitute cook through add all meat and veggies heat through and serve

makes approx 4 (2cup) servings

new day, new me

so last night i had a dream... i was talking to someone...crying talking about the past. About the person i was...the think i did...upon me was shame and sadness. When i let it all out i realized i do not have to live under that anymore. I do not have to be steered by the past. You've heard today is the first day of the rest of your life...well it kind of is. You know no one can keep us hostage with the thoughts of the past but us. Are you in slavery to fear, sadness or anger? Today is the day you take charge of that. Jesus went to the cross and died for us to be free. We are not slaves we are free men. Today is a new beginning stand up and say i am not afraid. I do not have to eat ,drink,swear,smoke, talk about people, etc. to comfort me from the thoughts of yesterday. Today is a new day.

salsa chicken quesadilla

Tonight for dinner i had a huge bowl of salad and a quesadilla it was so good...

4 oz chicken breast
1/4 cup mushrooms sliced
1/8 cup peppers sliced
1/8 cup onion sliced
1tablespoon garlic powder
sprinkle of salt
1/4 cup salsa
2 tablespoons low fat sourcream
2 low carb whole wheat tortillas
1/2 to 1oz light cheddar cheese

in a skillet add chicken, mushrooms,peppers,onions and garlic powder and salt. Cook until chicken is almost cooked. Add a couple tablespoons of water if it seems to stick. Add salsa cook till done. Stir in sourcream. Place filling aside wipe out skillet and spray with non stick spray. Add tortilla put in 1/2 the cheese and half the filling. When torilla is golden fold in half and serve. Repeat with 2nd tortilla and the rest of cheese and filling.

2 servings

January End weigh in

ok so january came and of course i dieted so for the first 2 weeks i lost some weight 3rd week i ate alot then the last 10 days i have been really changing the way i eat. I am following the biggest loser club way of eating (woe) I started out at 410lbs as of january 1st. Today is February 1st i weigh... 388. WOOHOO how hot is that!!! 22lbs I haven't excersized once. Tomorrow is my first day to start a fitness plan. I am so motivated and ready.

Worry Free Me

Well Itold my husband Iwanted to start posting recipes. Cooking really does come very easily to me and I want to be able to share that with people who struggle with ideas. Also I am on a journey to lose all my excess weight and then maintain my worry free weight. Come along and join me on the journey to be worry free.