Thursday, February 26, 2009

i know i know where am i?

ok i know i have been absent but i've been in a rut. You know we all have those super emotional times of the month well i found mine. I have been busy and emotional and tired. Sorry i haven't kept up i just haven't even been online much with work and parties and feeling crazy. So as far as eating goes ive been pretty good minus a couple days. Sarha had a party and i totally ate whatever i wanted and the day after and ive been just wanting peanut butter and chocolate all the time :) but this week monday through now ive been back doing good. I still feel a little crazy but i know i need to eat good. thanks for the concern girls i love you all. I will post again soon.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Chinese or Pizza?

Today was good. I brought enough food to work to last the day. Mike told me he would bring me to dinner so i didn't eat the salad i brought for dinner. When i got out and we went to find somewhere to eat there was nothing open but chinese and pizza. By this point i was so very hungry and was ready to eat anything. I thought forget it i am too hungry i will just eat anything. Mike said lets go to the chinese buffet. OMG can you believe he wanted to go to the chinese buffet. Finally i said fine we will just go to the pizza place. As i was driving by i just kept going and went right home. I was very emotional and starving and even a little angry but i went home. I made some whole wheat pasta w/sauce and ate 1 serving and was fine. I am so happy i kept going. I really feel like i had a great success tonight and will be stronger because of it.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

keep on keeping on

I know everyone has those days when you just do not feel motivated. I have been in a 2 day rut this is going on day 3. I can smile and stuff but i feel sad. I think i have pms. I have still not eaten off plan but i have not been doing very good at tracking my food. yesterday i had

meat w/taboule and hummus
2 chocolates
1/2pb and j on wheat

and thats it but my weight has stayed still for 3 days so i figure no weight loss and feeling crazy emotional must be pms. BUT i dont get my period regularly so i am not sure but i think so ;)
anyways i have to go to work but i will keep on keeping on no matter my mood. YOU KNOW i want to just eat chocolate and pb and mac and cheese and anything else that would comfort me but i turn for support to God and to my husband. I dont need to fill this void with food. I have done that way to long those days are over. I will eat on point today and will not waver. This is for me and for mike and for my future children. Well keep on keeping on peeps.

chopped salad w/lemon mint dressing

I made this delicious salad and mike and i eat it probably 3x a week it is so satisfying

1 lg romaine cut into small pieces
1 tomato chopped small
1 cucumber chopped small
1 bunch scallions chopped
1 lemon
2 cloves garlic crushed
oil to taste i use about 1/4 cup for the whole salad but watch the calories
hand full of fresh mint chopped
1 full handful of fresh parsley chopped
salt to tast

add lettuce, tomato,cucumber scallions,parsley and mint to a big bowl
mix together 2 crushed garlic cloves the juice of 1 lemon, oil and salt to taste

pour over salad when ready to serve toss together and enjoy

Saturday, February 7, 2009

circle of influence

I heard this saying about your circle of influence. Think of a bulls eye. The very center is the things you can control, the next outer circle is the things you can influence and finally everything outside of that is the things you can not control. This really made me think. You can put this thought to work with anything. Maybe when you want to control someone else. Maybe your angry about something and your going to take it out on someone. Or maybe its food. Your hungry and there is no where to eat but wendys. Do i just go get one of those double burgers with fries because "there was no where else to eat" or do i maybe get a salad w/light dressing or even a grilled chicken sandwhich w/no mayo. What in this is in my control? You can only control 2 things in this world what GOES IN your MOUTH and what comes OUT!!!! Think on that for a minute. YOU control what goes in your mouth. AND you control what comes out. I used thie circle of influence yesterday. As many people know i am loud and out spoken especially when angry. Well Oshea (my friend) was suppose to meet me at 4:15. Well i sat in my car in the cold waiting. I couldnt run my car because my gas light was on but i couldnt go get gas because i might miss her. Well i sat there and waited and waited and waited and at 5:15 i was getting so angry. But it popped into my head...what can i control? I cant control her being late, I could go wait in the doorway and be warm. I couldnt control that i was going to be late getting my husband but i even couldnt help really being a little mad when 5:3o rolled around and she pulled up but i could control the way i reacted to it. You see this whole time i was waiting she was stuck in traffic with 2 kids screaming, so as bad as i "had it" she had it a whole lot worse. So i just said a prayer for God to help me not to react to her being late. It worked i was still a little upset but i didnt react i just gave her the i am glad your here now look and we went about our buisness. And i am sure it was comforting to her that i didnt explode and lecture her about how she should have left earlier or shouldnt have let pat take the car or whatever but i controlled the situation and i am sure we are better friends because of it. Don't let thoughts hold you captive.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

who IS on the other side of this body

You know i was posting below a response and i wrote "i don't even know who is on the other side of this body?" you know these words are so true for me. I have been hiding behind this body so long i am almost afraid to see who is on the other side. I know every pound i lose i am gaining courage and strength. Every inch i am seeing a new me. I really cannot remember being under 300. I have been at 400 since before i went to Florida in 2002. As the pounds come off layers are coming off. I am examining myself and why i got here. Believe me i could tell you down to specifics why? now its time to stand up for myself. To love myself and believe in myself. As i near my 30th birthday i am giving the best gift of all to myself LIFE. This is about more than dieting or losing weight. This is about uncovering and opening up and healing. And finally finding the healthy sized worry free me inside.

mission accomplished

So yesterday i was feeling pretty sick and made myself get up and do laundry,dishes and cook dinner for my love but i really wasnt doing anything more. Last night i told myself i will get up at 8:30 and work out for a half hour before showering and going to work. Usually i get up right at the last minute. So mike woke me up as he was leaving at 8:30. I really slept poorly last night but i got up anyways. I took the dog out and went to the bathroom which left me 20 minutes to exercize.

I did a power walk video so i ended up walking 1 mile and doing some resistance with arms. Not bad for a first time morning workout :) Then i got my fiberone cereal and came to blog really quick before going to work. Ihave my first big bottle of water and will bring a second with me. I am going to be hurting i can already feel it in my thighs and hips. WOOHOO fast and furious. I figure if i can even start with 20 mins in the morning that would be great. Well off to work. Get moving people I cant do this alone.

Monday, February 2, 2009

i did cardio

so today i did it i finally exercised. I had today off but am home sick with a cold but i decided to go forward and do it anyways. I did a dance exercise tape. It was fun and pretty easy i broke a sweat. I want to get some weights so i can start some strength training. I plan on doing some kind of excersize again tomorrow.

i am feeling very good about myself today. I have worked out and ate on plan all day. I believe its been a good day.

cinnamon chicken w/cucumber sauce

1 cup non fat yogurt
1/4 cup light sourcream
1/4 cup cilantro chopped
2 T cumin
1 lime juiced
1 cucumber grated
1 crushed garlic clove

16 oz chicken breast(2 large pieces cut in half or 4 small pieces)
2 T cinnamon
1 T salt

place first 7 ingredients in a bowl mix and set aside.

sprinkle the chicken with salt and cinnamon and cook either in hot grill pan or in oven cook till done

serve with above sauce

*hint after grating the cucumber squeeze the excess juice out in a kitchen towel or paper towel

Stir fry fried rice

12 oz chicken breast
1/2 chopped onion
1T grated ginger
2 cloves garlic crushed
1t molasses
2 T soy sauce

1/2 chopped red bell pepper
1 carrot julienne
1c broccoli pieces
1c pea pods
1/2 c mushrooms sliced
1/2 cup beef broth

1c bean sprouts

light spray of olive oil
2 cups cooked brown rice
1/2 c egg substitute

mix first 6 ingredients set aside

in a skillet put the broth and all vegetables except bean sprouts cook till firm tender about 5 minutes set aside in a bowl
lightly spray same pan with cooking spray or olive oil when hot add chicken mixture cook till cooked through add in beans sprouts last minute of cooking
throw cooked chicken into bowl with vegetables
lightly spray pan again with spray when hot add in cooked rice cook till dry and slightly brown about 10 minutes stirring often
add in egg substitute cook through add all meat and veggies heat through and serve

makes approx 4 (2cup) servings

new day, new me

so last night i had a dream... i was talking to someone...crying talking about the past. About the person i was...the think i did...upon me was shame and sadness. When i let it all out i realized i do not have to live under that anymore. I do not have to be steered by the past. You've heard today is the first day of the rest of your life...well it kind of is. You know no one can keep us hostage with the thoughts of the past but us. Are you in slavery to fear, sadness or anger? Today is the day you take charge of that. Jesus went to the cross and died for us to be free. We are not slaves we are free men. Today is a new beginning stand up and say i am not afraid. I do not have to eat ,drink,swear,smoke, talk about people, etc. to comfort me from the thoughts of yesterday. Today is a new day.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

salsa chicken quesadilla

Tonight for dinner i had a huge bowl of salad and a quesadilla it was so good...

4 oz chicken breast
1/4 cup mushrooms sliced
1/8 cup peppers sliced
1/8 cup onion sliced
1tablespoon garlic powder
sprinkle of salt
1/4 cup salsa
2 tablespoons low fat sourcream
2 low carb whole wheat tortillas
1/2 to 1oz light cheddar cheese

in a skillet add chicken, mushrooms,peppers,onions and garlic powder and salt. Cook until chicken is almost cooked. Add a couple tablespoons of water if it seems to stick. Add salsa cook till done. Stir in sourcream. Place filling aside wipe out skillet and spray with non stick spray. Add tortilla put in 1/2 the cheese and half the filling. When torilla is golden fold in half and serve. Repeat with 2nd tortilla and the rest of cheese and filling.

2 servings

January End weigh in

ok so january came and of course i dieted so for the first 2 weeks i lost some weight 3rd week i ate alot then the last 10 days i have been really changing the way i eat. I am following the biggest loser club way of eating (woe) I started out at 410lbs as of january 1st. Today is February 1st i weigh... 388. WOOHOO how hot is that!!! 22lbs I haven't excersized once. Tomorrow is my first day to start a fitness plan. I am so motivated and ready.

Worry Free Me

Well Itold my husband Iwanted to start posting recipes. Cooking really does come very easily to me and I want to be able to share that with people who struggle with ideas. Also I am on a journey to lose all my excess weight and then maintain my worry free weight. Come along and join me on the journey to be worry free.